I don't really know what I am musing on these days. It's more like an irregular stream of consciousness thing...it seems to be working.


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« May 2006 | Main | July 2006 »

w June 29, 2006

Calling All Barflies

Our liquor cabinet just fell off the wall.

FELL OFF THE WALL. Not a shred of provocation. Of course I was sitting in the chair closest to it, with my back to it, and started hearing craaack...craaackk....CRASH! SHATTER! CRASH! I had the sense to jump up and move away in between craaaack and CRASH! but it still scared the everliving shit out of me. The weirdest part is that not much has broken. A few glasses we kept in there, maybe one bottle of something (I can definitely smell it), but on the whole, not a tremendous amount of damage.

We do, however, look like a total trash family now that the contents of the liquor cabinet are strewn all over Bean's toys that repose on the floor in bins right underneath. There is a wet bar/cabinet that broke the fall for the most part, I think. This way at least, we get a good look at what was holding that up to the wall for 17 years. Let me assure you, it wasn't substantial. I'm almost glad this happened now and not in the midst of a giant earthquake. While we are on solid bedrock, one never knows, especially with only two dinky little screws poking out.

Gene is having to come home to help; there is no way I could lift this cabinet by myself. What a weird day.

by Heather Hoffman at 12:55 PM

w June 24, 2006

Alll That $$ Wasted

Man, if I had just known about this sooner, I would not have had to endure all those exams and seminars and papers:

We would like to hear from you regarding your work and life experience.
Our qualification department feels you are able to qualify for our BA or MBA degree program. Our department will be able to immediately qualify you over the phone, and upon qualification valid transcripts and the degree of choice will be sent to you within days.

Please give us a call today:

*Our staff is very busy handling calls, and we require our applicants to leave a message so we can promptly return your call.

Hope to talk to you soon,

Ralph Tuttle

Apparently I am "able" to qualify for a BA. Wow. That's a relief.

by Heather Hoffman at 1:52 PM

w June 21, 2006


There's just something about half a watermelon in the fridge that screams "summmmmmmmmmmmmer!"

That, and the 98 degree heat. Oh, and the fact that it's still vaguely light outside at 9:20 pm. All hail the summer solstice, dudes.

by Heather Hoffman at 9:23 PM

w June 19, 2006

Patriotism, It's a Funny Thing

Am currently watching Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals (Edmonton vs Carolina), and while I have no especial love for Edmonton (I'm a Leafs girl, obviously), I find myself rooting for them. Why? Well, because they're CANADIAN of course.


My rational mind took over and I said, Heather...at least 50% of every team in the *entire* NHL is Canadian born, so in all honesty, what is it that you are rooting FOR, exactly? I guess it just seems more right that a team based in my frozen homeland should win the Stanley Cup. Which is kind of stupid considering most Eastern European teams clean our clocks, or at least did in the last Winter Olympics. Still. Patriotism, it's a funny thing.

And come on. Hockey? In North Carolina? NORTH CAROLINA? There's a reason I don't go to San Jose Sharks games, and that's because hockey does not belong in a land where there are no outdoor pickup games between middle schoolers in the dead of winter. Call me a fascist, but I stick with my prejudices.

That being said, I will accept an American team based anywhere north of say, Pennsylvania. That's okay. Michigan works. Minnesota DEFINITELY works. New York works. They know snow. They know what it's like to walk outside and have your nose lose all feeling in about 15 seconds. They know what it feels like to not be able to go skating on the weekends because the mean old dads in the neighborhood commandeer the crappy park ice rink for their pick up games. But not North Carolinians and definitely not Californians. Sorry kids.

by Heather Hoffman at 6:32 PM


Color Me Impressed

While I still hope to hear a positive on the gay marriage issue from my compatriots in the Episcopal church, I am SO SHOCKED...and yet utterly delighted...to hear that the presiding bishop of the US Episcopal church is...gulp...female.


It's enough to make me head back to church beyond Christmas and Easter (even then I get a little lax); my beef is not with the actual Episcopalians, who I think are pretty damn cool, it's with the whole getting up on Sunday morning thing and wrestling everyone into tidy clothes.

We drink sherry, we play golf, we go to Yale. We also elect women to our highest posts. Sweet.

by Heather Hoffman at 12:06 AM

w June 16, 2006


I have come to it late, but let it be known here I am a true Ali G convert and fan.

My face hurts from laughing.

by Heather Hoffman at 10:01 PM

w June 14, 2006

Out of Commission

It's been a few days, as I seem to have contracted a rather nasty bout of food poisoning or similar last Thursday, which has had me functioning at about 60% until today. I won't go into the gory details, but suffice it to say, a lot has come out and not a lot has gone in. I'm eating a hamburger bun with remnants of meat on it right now, partially because that's what is in the fridge, but also because I'm SOFREAKINGHUNGRYICOULDSCREAM...and you know what, if it doesn't work, whatever. It tastes good going down.

Of course my first thought was "I'm wreaking irrevocable fetal harm because I craved both a chicken gyro and Korean food!!!!". Went to the doctor on Monday to see whether IV fluids were needed, and also to set my mind at ease about that. Natch, Peabo is fine. Nice healthy heartbeat, and I think I'm starting to feel internal thumps. To be honest, I've been feeling them for a few weeks, but "they" say I'm not supposed to feel even a second baby until at least 14 weeks, so whatever. Recently. Anyway, it really did point out the truth that our bodies are designed to protect the passenger first, almost regardless of how miserable the driver feels.

At any rate. It's not been too exciting around here in terms of bloggable activities, unless of course you have some perverse need to hear about the finer details of food poisoning. If so, you know where I am.

by Heather Hoffman at 1:51 PM

w June 06, 2006

Constitutional Constitution

Peabo voted today, did you?

I like having a proper bump now, it is good for eating off of and sticking stickers upon.

by Heather Hoffman at 5:23 PM

w June 03, 2006


While I recognize that this comes as *NO* surprise to anyone, hope springs eternal.

God forbid two people who love each other can be together without being branded "unnatural"...considering how many divorces I know of amongst heterosexual people, you almost wonder, "why isn't the question, let's give gay and lesbian citizens the right to be miserable too!!!"

I'm kidding, y'all. But you know. I wonder sometimes if the real reason they object to homosexual marriages is that it utterly confuses the notion of who goes out to work and comes home and drinks a martini, and who raises the kids and scrubs the toilet and drinks martinis on the sly, so that the neighbors don't see....can't be having June Cleaver turn into John Cleaver, after all.

by Heather Hoffman at 9:44 AM