Bean's First Spookfest

It's not going to be too scary, for obvious reasons (most obvious being she's only 7 months old---somehow goblins and ghouls seem a little overwhelming), but it should be amusing. A friend of ours kindly offered to make her costume, and so Bean is going to be a bean. Well, a beanpod, but isn't it just too symmetrical for words? She in fact has a number of social engagements to attend en costume, so I think that the lack of trick or treating shouldn't distress her all that much. Maybe it will distress me, but my postpartum weight loss trajectory cheers. We probably will take her to one or two of our neighbors and a) show her off and b) score some treats, or at the least, a glass of wine. Wouldn't that be a lovely addition to Hallowe'en, a beer or glass of wine for the parents trudging along? Actually, I really am looking forward to the years in the future when we truly will suit up at 6 pm and go haunt the neighborhood(s).

Since I teach school, I am of course required to come up with some sort of costume...this year I kind of copped out, but I think I'm going to spend at least one day in utter comfort. Many girls at school like to dress up as "little girls"---fuzzy slippers, flannel pjs, hair in pigtails, etc. Of course, many others also like to dress up en hoochie mama, but I thought I'd follow the example of the former. At least this year. I ordered two sets of comfy pajamas from a fantastic site, and will attempt to wrestle my Mommy coif into pigtails. I honestly can't think of anything more delicious than wearing my pajamas all day.

Vive la Schlump.

Toddlers vs Teenagers

It has long been my theory that teenagers, especially young ones, are just overgrown toddlers with bad skin and a larger (though not much) vocabulary. The last few days at school have borne this out in spades---I'm probably not going to do a very good job of explaining what has been going on, but in the interest of self-therapy, I'll give it a shot. But first to free my baked potato from its radiation prison...
All right. Basically, I've discovered that teenagers are convinced that everything they come in contact with automatically becomes theirs, AND rules don't apply to them. Like the rules of not eating in class, not wearing their baseball cap, not talking WHILE OTHER PEOPLE ESPECIALLY THE TEACHER ARE TALKING...it just boggles my mind. These are not hard dictates to follow, and it's not exactly like I'm infringing on their Constitutional rights (although God help us when they find out about the Constitution in a few weeks---all you hear is "my mom can sue you!! My mom can sue you!!). I also have a sign up on my door when I'm pumping at lunch or similar that reads "Pleeeeeez do not disturb!". But again, apparently this doesn't apply to anyone under the age of 15, because every single damn lunch period or recess I hear knock knock knock rattle rattle rattle. I know they aren't the world's most literate children but COME ON.

Toddlers also throw tantrums when you cross your eyes at them...young teenagers do too, especially if they think you have "disrespected" them. I said to one of my particularly chatty girls last week during a quiz, "I don't think this is going to work..." and before I could get another word out, she flung herself out of her chair, made some snarky comment and flounced out of the room making as much noise as possible. ???! I went outside to deal with it, was informed that she was NOT talking, blah blah blah, so I thought, why argue (just like with toddlers)? I apologized, and unbelieveably, this girl was still acting wretched. At which point I pulled out the Mom tone and informed her that the attitude could now be dropped and I'd appreciate some maturity in accepting an apology, etc etc etc.

And they just never shut up. Ever. I even bought a coach's whistle because I was tired of calling for quiet. It barely works. The thing that depresses me is that we hardly have time to do anything worthwhile in class because all I'm doing is crowd control---and I actually don't have problems with classroom management. It angers me for the kids who aren't being a pain, and it angers me for my own self-esteem, because I think I'm a fairly fun teacher, and I try to make history interesting and relevant, and these kids are forcing me to resort to boring tactics to achieve some level of calm in the classroom.

One girl said to me today, "we're just preparing you for your daughter, Mrs. Hoffman". True, but at least I'll get a couple of handmade Mother's Day cards and pasta neckaces out of the deal instead of just an ulcer.

Teenagers? Not exactly a huzzah today. Although one of my charmers did say that I was "tight", which is apparently a positive comment these days...I believe it means cool. I think.

Seeing the Future

Went to an event today through our vision intervention program (a bit politically incorrect, but it's called Blind Babies Foundation. Even the counselors there refer to it as BBF.); it was up in Santa Rosa, so it was a little bit of a haul, but I'm glad we went. There weren't very many families there, but we did end up talking for a while with the parents of three kids, the younger of whom were extremely premature twins (now nearly 5). The boy had some medical issues, but was essentially doing fine, the girl was totally blind with prosthetic eyes, and a "mini" cane that she was just learning to use. The most amazing thing was looking at this little pistol, because she was certainly that, and realizing that Bean truly is going to be all right. She may end up doing things later than other kids, she may not, but she WILL learn to walk and talk and play and interact.

This little girl was already so independent, and told us all about going to tap dancing lessons that morning and getting her ears pierced ("It huhted a LOT")---and it was the way her parents raised her. Their theory is that M is going to be blind for the rest of her life, but this isn't a disability to "overcome", this is who she is, and she will learn to navigate her world well. She goes hiking with them and obviously takes tap dancing lessons, and wants to imitate her oldest brother and shoot a bow and arrow too.

It was probably the first time since Bean was born that I felt an enormous weight lift. As my friend S just said, this is a good litmus test, because Bean is already in a better place than the other little girl, visually speaking.

In other news, she did something today that showed she is actually not all that far behind developmentally (or even on track)---she grabbed her silver circle rattle with her right hand, brought it to the middle of her chest, and transferred it to her left hand. I nearly fell off the bed in surprise and relief. I gave her the pacifier to hold in the other hand, and she attempted a midline transfer of both...to less success, needless to say! But it was sweet to watch her try, with furrowed brow. So we're pretty happy here in Beantown.

Nanny Bliss

The impossible has occurred...we literally just hired a nanny. And she is AWESOME. The minute she walked in the door I was mulling over ways we could sweeten the deal to make sure we snagged her; as it turned out, I guess we were okay in her books too, because we basically went out on a limb and told her we'd love to hire her, and she said, "okay!". Let me just put it this way...she has an MFA in creative writing from Sarah Lawrence. At least I know that Bean will continue to have huge exposure to books! I can't even articulate the relief and pleasure I feel that Bean will have a caregiver who is intelligent and funny and at ease around us.

And she can start on Monday. Is this a Huzzah? You'd better believe it.