For All Who Care

We have been in debates about what to call this presently baking Hoffman---the Bean was, of course, the Bean, and still is. I had started referring to Embryo #2 as "Vampira" because s/he was sucking the life force from me. Someone, perhaps Gene, pointed out that it was a particularly gender-specific nickname, and we would be remiss if we didn't admit we'd love a boy this time around. Don't get your knickers in a knot, we'll love a girl passionately too, I'm just saying. So Vampira is out. Another friend uses "Noodle", which is cute, but somehow I'm not quite warmed to it. Perhaps because noodles are so gentle and inoffensive and tend not to cause stomach upheavals.

However. This morning I stumbled upon possibly the best in utero name ever, and maybe even for afterwards:

PEABO.

What doesn't it cover? It's gender neutral. It's Southern, obviously. It's cute without being vomit-making. Mostly I like it because it's Southern, okay, I give. But also feature that I found it in one of the funniest books ever,
"God Save the Sweet Potato Queens" by Jill Connor Browne. If you haven't heard of the Sweet Potato Queens, you are really missing sumthin' spehshul. I want to be like this when I grow up, once all the baby making and raising up is done with. Check 'em out.

Peabo says so.

Jamba Juice Ahoy

I have no idea why I didn't realize this earlier, but Jamba Juice. Yeah. I'm getting vitamins. It's nice and cold so seems to quell the nausea. I don't have to worry *as* much about calories right now, at least in the face of not being able to eat everything and anything. Plus they taste good. All that citrus helps immensely. I am hoping tomorrow I don't develop a sudden aversion to said juices, ha. Actually, I have to say, I've had a sort of consolation prize for having worse morning sickness this time around: although there are definitely foods that do NOT sound good to me, I don't really seem to have much that is triggered by smells. With Bean, I couldn't bear garlic or onions or coffee or anything of that nature; somehow, this time around, it's just not as bad. You takes what you can gets.

Hacienda Hoffman

Will get a little more crowded come December, provided everything keeps going well. Yeah, Bean is going to be a big sister...had my first o/b appointment yesterday and saw the little frantically beating heart and fuzzy blob that not even the most affectionate parent-to-be would say looks like a "baby", but the youngest Hoffman is in there. Which is always a relief to see, to know that *something* is causing my constant gnarliness.

Oh, it's been lovely. Actually, it's not been as bad as some friends I have talked to, but it's definitely been enough to turn me into a reduced version of myself. I'm really hoping the next few weeks start bringing some relief. That being said, there have been some rather amusing morning sickness moments. To wit:

-- throwing up, loudly, in the upstairs bathroom while Bean was in her high chair in the next room. Laughing. At me. Or at least at the funny noises Mummy was making!

--having to pee and then realizing I had to throw up. I grabbed Bean's training potty and used that. It has a "royal flourish" that applauds you when you deposit something into the basin. I was applauded for yakking. Festively!

--holding a conversation with Gene last night while my head was hanging over the sink. All I could think was, "well, we're definitely married, and this is definitely #2". Random!

That's another thing--it's so. So. SO much easier with #2. Not necessarily physically, but mentally and emotionally. All the insane fears and anxieties I had with Bean are pretty much not there right now, and all I am concerned about is who is going to stay with her when we need to go to the hospital and how is she going to deal with a little interloper sucking up much of Mummy's time. I definitely feel more mellow in general.

So that's part of why I have been a little lax in posting recently. I'm hoping that in a few more weeks I will be more Heathery.

Parenthood

Watching a very interesting dorkumentary on Logo called "Daddy and Papa", addressing the issues that gay men face in raising children in a very hetero-skewed world, at least from a parenting perspective. One of the things that really struck me was a couple who are in essence divorced, but have a...10 year old? daughter. One of her fathers said, "it's more that we face issues as divorced parents, not as gay parents". And that really resonated. Parenting is parenting, regardless of who you find attractive sexually. All these men are doing EXACTLY the same things Gene and I do, or any of our friends who are heterosexual. It's so utterly, utterly, UTTERLY stupid that there are barriers to gay men, women, couples, whatever, adopting. Considering how many children are languishing in foster homes and aching for a "forever" family...and here are probably thousands of men who would cut off their right arms to be able to be parents...it's damn infuriating. Thank goodness in California they can, but there are certainly states where that is not the case (cough, FLORIDA). And isn't it nice that the Supreme Court won't touch that one? Oh, but they can be foster parents. Um. Okay? So it's okay for them to be non-legal parents, but not legal parents? WTF?

In a perfect world, there would be a watertight global law that says adoptive parents can't be discriminated against due to sexual orientation. Wouldn't that just frost Anita Bryant's butt?

I Love California

I was driving up El Camino yesterday evening and happened to notice a handpainted sign on the sidewalk proclaiming:

"Comida China"

Seems we have moved beyond Chinese-American food and fetched up at Chinese-Mexican food.

I love California.

Century

**Addendum** I'm presently finishing watching a semi-dorkumentary on the National Geographic Channel called "The Great Quake". It's essentially a reenactment of the 1906 earthquake, interspersed with snippets from geologists, authors, fire chiefs, blah blah blah. And of course everyone keeps saying "It will happen again, for sure, we are so complacent, no one understands the magnitude, yadda yadda yadda."

Okay. For one. YES. We KNOW it will happen again. If this is one of the greatest concentrations of intellectual success on the continent, if not the planet, I think we all realize it will happen again. Fine.
But for two: what exactly is anyone proposing we DO about it? The only solid evidence I saw was an earthquake research drill being set up on the San Andreas Fault to at least attempt some level of analysis and prediction. Great. That makes sense. That's SCIENCE. But all the other people (the authors and fire chiefs) were doing was plain and simple, whingy hand wringing. "Oh it's going to be so bad, oh the destruction, oh the humanity, won't somebody please think of the children...". I don't mean to trivialize the assured reality of a large scale earthquake in the Bay Area, I'm not that ignorant. What I am irritated with is this disaster masturbation fantasy; to listen to these "experts" (yeah, sarcasm intended), you'd think the only solution would be to completely and totally evacuate the entire Bay Area, seal off the boundaries, and let the area settle into oblivion.

Well. That's a nice idea. And eminently sensible, of course. I know I'm ranting but I HATE shit like this. It keeps talking about 'reality' when in all truth, it's totally ignoring reality. Right now we live on good old solid bedrock in the hills of Redwood City. During Loma Prieta in 1989, apparently the cupboards flew open and the first owners lost a handful of dishes. We're geographically closer to the epicenter than San Francisco. However, we are also seriously considering a move to San Francisco, for a variety of reasons, but not ONE of them is a death wish. The reality is that we have earthquakes all the time here. I've felt probably 4 or 5 small ones myself in the nearly nine years I've lived in California. But I'd rather trade the potential risk of "the big one" in...5 years? 10 years? 35? 50? No one can tell me?...for the benefits of living in a city with a great deal to offer. In truth, I'd rather run this risk than KNOW that every year was going to bring at least one crappy hurricane or tornado or ice storm. We had a city-crippling blizzard in Toronto when I was in 10th grade. It was Christmas exams time. My 9 am exam was shifted to 3 pm, we wore our coats and just wrote the damn thing. The subways still worked, and our legs in boots still worked, so we wrote our exams. Human beings are pretty resilient.

I declare a pox on sensationalist tv marketing itself as...semi-scientific.

This morning at 5:12 a.m., one hundred years ago, San Francisco experienced "The Great Quake". While up in the city this past weekend, we saw any number of vintage firetrucks zooming around as part of the centennial...celebration feels like the wrong word. Observation? At any rate, it was quite interesting to see.

Another thing that is quite nifty is that there are still survivors of the earthquake alive and it would seem, for the most part, well. No idea if it's living in the Western Babylon, but these are some pretty spunky looking 100+ year olds. It did make me think though, how fleeting history really is. In a matter of years--maybe--there won't be any more eyewitnesses. Even if the 100 and 101 year olds last a few years longer, they were infants at the time and can't be expected to have any detailed memories. I'm glad to see that much is being made of the event, and, I would presume, the reports from these last few eyewitnesses.

Of course everyone knows we are "due" for another big one, but I wish there weren't so many Chicken Littles running around making it sound like we're going to all go the way of the dodo bird because of it. Sure, earthquakes SUCK and they are SCARY. But...don't you think we're going to be in better shape than in 1906? If seismologists, geologists, and engineers didn't learn anything in 100 years, maybe we deserve to slide into the ocean.

Sheesh.

And think on this...I'll bet you any amount of money on April 19, 1906, people were wringing their hands coast to coast bewailing the utter and irreparable loss of a city. Except...not. I still see an awful lot of people living and working and visiting the Bay Area. I think we're going to be okay.

But do go read some of the articles and eyewitness reports if you have a moment. The latter will be gone soon and it's important to remember.

Tardy Ramblings

I just realized I have not posted anything since the 22nd of March. D'oh!

Took the boat to the city this long weekend, which was quite pleasant, even if the weather didn't cooperate fully. Still, the times we did bestir our asses to do anything, it mostly did, so truthfully, I can't complain. The only real issue is that I didn't get much sleep, since the Bean thinks any bed not her regular one is, in fact, a playground. And the BEST time to play is from midnight to 7 am! Yes!

I so tired. Hopefully more news when less so. Tonight she will be in her own bed. Thank Jesus and all the saints.

Happy Passover and Easter to all, by the way.