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w May 11, 2006

Cranky Pregnant Woman Rant

About other (okay, SOME other) pregnant women. On occasion I read those message boards devoted to the navel-gazery that is particularly common to first time pregnancies. I have NO problem with the establishment and loyalty to these things...I did it myself the first time around, and it feels really nice to have people in the same boat with whom to commiserate. I don't read the boards as much this time around, mostly because I pretty much know what's going on, but also because I frankly don't have a whole lot of energy, and I'm not about to spend it "listening" to everyone else's neuroses about something that is, I hate to break it to you, just biology. Which brings me to tonight's rant.

I will try to make this as delicate as possible, but if you think you might never want kids, stop reading now.

So if you go in for an early ultrasound, to date the pregnancy, confirm heartbeat, etc, at least where we live, you get an "internal" ultrasound. That means you have to take your underwear off and show the va-j-j to the doctor. They've seen it all...and it's not the last time they're going to be looking at yours. Don't even get me started on the number of nurses you will...entertain...during labor. Anyway, internal. Yeah, it's not as small as a Q-tip. But neither is it as big as a...muffler on an 18-wheeler. However, I read these women fretting about the possibility of having an internal exam and how that "doesn't sound like very much fun".


I'm sorry, but Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Did you even have sex to get to this point? Because a lot of people do. And it usually involves something "internal". Trust me. Internal is a LOT better than what will be trying to become EXTERNAL around your damn due date.

Forgive me. I am pregnant, and hormonal.

by at May 11, 2006 9:56 PM | TrackBack Comments

I think a woman griping about this signals her hubby has a tiny wee wee. He should defend his honor and tell her to shut it.


Posted by: Kenneth on May 12, 2006 12:01 PM
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