Fauxshi

If there is such a thing as white trash sushi, I think I might have created it tonight. Well, ok, it's not entirely WT, as it does not incorporate either Miracle Whip or Velveeta...but I just gave myself an effing awesome idea. Future post. For now, "fauxshi" that is dead easy to make and actually tastes surprisingly good:

2 cups sushi rice
3 cans tuna packed in water
soy sauce
mirin
sugar
salt
rice wine vinegar
sesame seeds
fresh ginger
nori (seaweed sheets)

If you have a rice cooker, just bung the rice in with the appropriate water and press go. Let it sing to you. If you do not, read the back of the rice bag. It'll learn you.
Meanwhile, mix together approximately 0.5 cup rice wine vinegar, 0.25 c sugar, a teaspoon or so of salt, and 2 Tbsp of mirin. Stir to combine and let it wait. After dealing with this, drain your tuna and toss in a bowl with soy sauce, mirin, rice vinegar, sesame seeds and minced fresh ginger to taste. I honestly didn't measure any of this so it's really more of a personal thing - if it tastes good, it's right.

When rice is done, dump into a different bowl and pour previously made sauce over, turning gently to cool (you can also try to fan it dry with a piece of junk mail if you want, but I apparently can't chew gum and walk at the same time). Pull out your nori sheets and on a clean surface, glop about 0.33-0.66 cup of cooled rice at one end, and spread a slightly smaller amount of tuna on top of that. Unless you have a rolling mat (in which case, you don't really need this 'recipe'), just try to tuck in the roll as tightly as you can, as you go. Now, I only had four sheets of nori in the cupboard, so I have a lot of tuna and rice left but you could of course make as much as you can handle and can resource.
Making sure to keep the knife wet, cut each roll into about 6 or 7 slices, throw on a plate, and get your eat on. I didn't put any wasabi or pickled ginger in/on for the kids' sake, but I would bet it would taste pretty good.

Feel virtuous. Omega-3 AND seaweed. Now off to ponder the intricacies of white trash sushi.

Apparently, this is actually really popular in Japan. Although (I'm told) they make it with mayo.
(!)