Who Writes This Stuff?

One of my recent areas of expertise is in kids' music, played ad nauseum (though thank god, Bean is now old enough to dig more grown up music, for which I had lit many candles). We have a wonderful CD by The Persuasions called "On The Good Ship Lollipop", and while the music itself is loads of fun, they have included a rendition of "Teddy Bears' Picnic".

Have you ever listened to the words of this? Here's a choice excerpt:

If you go out in the woods today,
You'd better not go alone.
It's lovely out in the woods today,
But safer to stay at home.

Uh. That's exactly what I want my kids to take from this, the notion that given half a chance, their stuffed animals are going to gang up and MAUL them when they aren't looking. Here are the lyrics in full. You be the judge, but I'll freely admit that I skip that song quite regularly on the iPod. It's the same reason I don't sing about babies falling out of damn trees in their cradles. I want my kids to be brave, but that's just wack.

As an anachrophile, I would think you would appreciate the old fashioned Grimm-like aura of a world that is not safe with padded corners on every table.

Yeah makes me wonder what that "lovely treat" is for the teddy bears, perhaps some plump succulent babies? Yikes.

The cradle will fall is also a total disturbing song to me.